


My Guardian Angel

by MrsLolita



Category: Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter - Laurell K. Hamilton
Genre: F/M, Gen, Heartbreak, Sacrifice, Wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 19:43:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14220393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsLolita/pseuds/MrsLolita
Summary: She never thought she would ever feel that way for him. And when she finally realized it, it was too late.





	My Guardian Angel

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Magyar available: [Az Én Őrangyalom](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15774138) by [Xaveri](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xaveri/pseuds/Xaveri)



I don’t know how I succeeded to keep a smile on my face during the entire wedding. Perhaps my heart was too broken to really feel something, but I know it wasn’t the case. I did felt something, pain. My tears threatened to sink at every moment, but I held them back as long as I could. I couldn’t let him saw how broken I was. He wouldn’t have understood, and I wouldn’t have been able to blame him. I lied so many times, saying that I would never feel that way about him, that I was happy with my men, my monsters. But it wasn’t the case. I wasn’t happy. I was feeling empty, and it has been like that for years. Jean-Claude, Micah, Nathaniel.. even with their flaws, they were good men, but I just couldn’t love them the way I loved Edward. And never I would. Nobody could replace him, ever. 

It took me time to realize it, to realize my feelings. It was at first just a thought in the back of my mind, something that I was thinking about when I was alone at night after a rough day. I would imagine how great it could be if I found him in my kitchen, brewing some coffee for us, after a long and tiring day of work. I could share with him my fears, without being afraid of being juged, He could understand me, better than anyone did in my entire life. And even if he knew the darkest parts of myself, he was still here, always taking care of me. I couldn’t remember exactly how many times, he saved me. Too much to count, but enough for me to feel extremely lucky and glad to have him in my life. Not only because, thanks to him, I could live through another day, but because it made me feel like I wasn’t alone. In a way, and even if he was deadly dangerous, he was my guardian angel.

And now, I had lost him. At the far end of the room from my spot, I could see him smile to Donna, his arm around his waist. She was wearing a beautiful wedding dress, as white as Edward’s suit. They looked beautiful and happy. And this simple sight was enough to finally let my tears fall out my eyes. I didn’t cared, he was too far away to notice it, or me for all that matters. I wasn’t making any sound, and if the tears weren’t visible, nobody could guess that I was crying. Who would care about it anyways ? Nobody would want to see the white skinned woman at the back of the room wearing a dress as black as darkness itself, like she was participating to a funeral instead of a wedding. It felt like it. I wanted to be happy for Edward, I wanted to say to him that I was glad he could have found someone to share the rest of his life wife, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t lie, not to him. 

That’s why after a last glance towards him, I left my spot against the wall. Noticing Peter looking at me meters away from me, I quickly erased my tears before leaving the room. I had no idea for how long he watched me. It didn’t mattered. Nothing would ever mattered anymore. Today, I had lost the only person I would have died for. Edward was maybe still alive, but he had chosen to try to live his life as Ted, meaning that I couldn’t be a part of his world anymore. I don’t wanted him or his family to be hurted in any way because of me and my connections to the monsters. I wouldn’t be able to survive if he ended broken over the lost of someone he cared about or dead because he knew me. I would not let that happen. Ever. 

So I left, my heart in pieces.  
It was time to get back to my monsters.

**Author's Note:**

> Firstly, I wanted to say sorry. English isn’t my birth language so there is probably a lot of grammatical mistakes etc. It also explain why this one-shot isn’t very long. I still need practice before I can really write something very long or with multiple-chapters. Anyways. It’s been a while since I wanted to post something about Anita and Edward, they are my favorite characters of the series and their duo is the best in my opinion.


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